


maybe we need a break

by cobiethinker



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Choi Chanhee | New is Whipped, Did I mention angst, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Flirty Juyeon, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hair-pulling, M/M, Overstimulation, Pining, Smut, Spanking, and SMUT, implied sunkyu, this is just self indulgence, younghoon supportive bff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27975798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobiethinker/pseuds/cobiethinker
Summary: Chanhee has been whipped for Juyeon, a boy in one of his classes, for a while now. His best friend, Younghoon, drags him to a party where he ends up bumping into him. Feelings blossom, and the pair end up hitting it off.But in reality, it’s not as picture perfect as Chanhee wants it to be.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob & Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Younghoon, Choi Chanhee | New/Lee Juyeon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> song - maybe we need a break by slchld 
> 
> hi everyone !! this is my first time writing a long fic like this with a plot so forgive me if it’s not the best!! i’ll try to update it as often as i can so it can get finished faster. this is super self indulgent too oops

Chanhee had just started college four months prior, and he was already leading a lonely life. 

He had some close friends, obviously, but he had always craved more. Chanhee wanted the intimacy of a partner, someone to share his space and his life with, someone to love and be loved by. Someone to hold him when he slept to keep him warm, someone who would make him feel butterflies in his stomach. He’d never dated, let alone been in love, but he’d had his fair share of crushes over the years. 

The problem was… too many girls liked Chanhee. They all thought he was the picture perfect pretty boyfriend they wanted, who knew how to dress and how to style his hair well. But Chanhee wasn’t interested in girls, he hadn’t been for a long time, and he thought that was clear by the distinctly feminine way he tended to dress. Props to them for not assuming stereotypes, but in the end it just hurt more people than anything else when he had to turn them down, the hopeful sparkle fading from their eyes as they realized the situation.

“Chanhee,” Younghoon, Chanhee’s best friend, called. “Are you listening?” 

Blinking a few times, the pink haired boy snapped out of it, quickly looking up at his best friend and meeting his warm brown eyes. “Yeah, sorry Hoon, got lost in thought.” 

“It’s okay,” the brown haired met Chanhee’s eyes. “Anyways, I think you should come to this party this weekend. Juyeon will be there.” 

Chanhee groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he grimaced at his friend’s teasing tone. Juyeon was a guy in one of Chanhee’s classes who he’d been crushing on since he laid eyes on him, but he was under the impression that the other was straight. “I’m telling you Hoon, I’m pretty sure he’s straight! Why should I even bother?” 

Younghoon kicked Chanhee lightly under the table. “It’s rude to assume! Just have an open mind, who knows maybe he’s bi.” 

Shaking his head, Chanhee took another sip of his coffee before turning to Younghoon. “I mean, he’s cute, but what if he’s a dick? What if he’s one of the asshole straights? Or like… one of the ‘questioning’ guys who just wants to fuck me because I dress like a girl sometimes?” 

“Hee,” Younghoon interrupted his rambling. “I’ll be there, so will Jacob, Kevin, and Changmin. It’ll be fine, it’s just another party, and if he tries too hard to get you into his bed before taking you on a date, unless that’s what you want,” Younghoon murmured the last part with a small wink, making Chanhee blush and slap his arm over the table. “Just tell him you need to go get another drink, and try to call me on the way. I’ll save you.” 

Laughing, Chanhee nodded, beginning to get on board with this plan. In his head he was thinking about what he could wear to impress Juyeon, wondering what he’d be into. He could go with some heavily ripped jeans to show off his legs, or just say fuck it and wear a skirt and show everything off. Chanhee liked that idea. 

“Yeah, okay, fine,” Chanhee sighed in defeat, picking at the muffin sitting in front of him. “Only because I would be an awful friend if I let you go to a party by yourself.” 

Rolling his eyes, Younghoon nodded, a small smile peaking through his lips. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” 

The topic changed after that, and they chatted casually about their classes and their lives. Once they finished their drinks, they stood up, stretching slightly before walking out to make their way to their next classes. Ironically, Chanhee’s class was the one that had Juyeon in it. The thought made him shiver slightly. 

Parting ways with Younghoon, Chanhee made his way into his desk, which was diagonal from Juyeon, who was seated and sorting through papers quietly. The way his hair fell in front of his face mesmerized Chanhee, who tried to stare as discreetly as he could without getting caught. He watched Juyeon’s long, slender fingers ruffle through the papers, and something stirred in Chanhee’s stomach when he thought about everything those fingers could do to him. 

_Snap out of it_ , Chanhee thought to himself, forcing himself to look away from the handsome boy in the desk across from him. _He’s still a real person, not someone I can imagine fucking because he’s cute._

Then the professor walked in, and the class fell into silence as the lecture began, but Chanhee couldn’t seem to focus on anything except Juyeon. Something about him entranced Chanhee, and all he wanted to do was kiss him and be held by the taller of the two. He had an urge to see Juyeon when he first woke up, still sleepy, with bed hair and morning breath. 

The teacher wrapped up with 15 minutes left of class, and Chanhee decided to stay and work on some of his homework before his next class. As he started, two guys walked up to Juyeon, talking to him about the party and if he was going. 

“Of course I’m going,” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “Eric would kill me if I didn’t show up.” 

“Hey, Pinky!” 

Chanhee froze, immediately knowing that the name was directed at him considering he was the only person in this class with bright pink hair. Looking up ever so slightly, he caught the two guys looking at him, and he made eye contact with Juyeon for a split second before he quickly broke it in favor of one of the others. 

“Hmm?” Chanhee tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, his hair flopping and his earrings swinging every so slightly as he waited for their question. 

“Are you coming this Friday?” Juyeon’s soft voice interrupted his friends and carried like music in the wind straight to Chanhee’s ears, making his stomach flutter as he took a deep breath to compose himself. “To the party, I mean.” 

Chanhee nodded, his earrings once again swaying with the movements of his head. “Yeah, Younghoon is dragging me along. Said there’s someone there he wanted me to meet or something.” 

Nodding, Juyeon’s eyebrows pushed together ever so slightly. “That’s funny, that’s exactly what Eric told me when he invited me.” 

Shrugging, Chanhee ran delicate fingers decorated with rings through his hair in an attempt to fix it. Juyeon watched him do that, and if Chanhee weren’t so whipped he would’ve sworn that he saw something darker flash in Juyeon’s eyes as the pink haired boy’s mouth parted ever so slightly to take a breath. 

The two other boys got Juyeon’s attention again as the taller boy turned back in his seat to face them, but when Chanhee’s head bowed back down to return to his work, he missed the curious glance Juyeon threw his way. 

-

“Hoon, you won’t believe what happened today,” Chanhee was in his pajamas, a headband pushing his soft pink hair back as he washed his face. He had facetimed Younghoon as soon as the other was free since he felt the need to keep his best friend updated. 

“So the prof left early, right, and we were sitting for 15 minutes, and these two guys were talking to Juyeon about the party,” Chanhee paused to splash some water on his face before reaching blindly for a towel and continuing. “He talked about going, and then they turned towards me and asked if I was going. Juyeon asked, so I made a joke about you killing me if I didn’t go, and he said it was funny because his friend Eric said that to him too.” 

Younghoon laughed lightly, his voice softer through the phone as he spoke. “That sounds very unfortunate for you, Hee.” 

“Oh my god and I swear there was a look in his eyes when I messed with my hair,” Chanhee said passionately as he applied creams to his face. “I swear there was, but part of me wants to assume it’s just my whipped brain.” 

“It probably is,” Younghoon agreed quietly, watching as Chanhee rubbed the last of his moisturizer into his skin before rubbing some into his hands. “But who knows, maybe you’ll see it again when you meet him Friday.” 

Groaning, Chanhee covered his face with his hands at the realization that he still didn’t know what he’d be wearing, and the party was in two days. “Hoon, would you help me pick out an outfit now while we’re already here?” 

An hour later, Chanhee had his outfit laid out on his desk chair that he never really used. He had decided on a pleated skirt in the hopes that Juyeon wouldn’t be weirded out, along with a soft oversized white sweater. He would pair it with a pair of white thigh high socks, just to complete the feminine look he had going for him. When he tried to ensemble on, Younghoon nodded vigorously. 

“You look really good, Hee,” The brown haired commented. “Just like you always do.” 

Waving a hand at the camera, Chanhee quickly changed before flopping back onto his bed in front of his phone camera. They sat like that and talked for another hour about random things as they came up, before Chanhee snuggled down into his comforters yawning. 

“You look sleepy, babe,” Younghoon commented, smiling slightly as Chanhee pouted. 

“Maybe,” The pink haired sighed. “We should probably get to sleep. Night, Hoonie!” 

After they ended the call, Chanhee curled up in his bed, eyes falling shut as he dreamt of long arms wrapped around him and a comforting warmth lulling him to sleep. 

-

The rest of the week flew by, Chanhee so distracted between thoughts of Juyeon and his piling schoolwork that he barely realized it was Friday until Younghoon mentioned pregaming together. 

“Wanna meet at your place or mine?” Younghoon asked over the phone as Chanhee faced the walk back to his dorm. If they met at Younghoon’s Chanhee would have to pack all of his stuff to get ready, but Younghoon probably had more alcohol. 

“Well you probably have more alcohol at yours, but I don’t want to have to pack up all my makeup and stuff and drag it over,” Chanhee paused before continuing. “Honestly it’s your pick, I don’t mind packing my stuff up if you really wanna do it at your place.” 

“Nah, I’ll just come over so you don’t have to take everything here,” Chanhee hummed in agreement before Younghoon continued. “Is it cool if I invite Kevin and Jacob?” 

Scoffing Chanhee pulled the keys out to his dorm, pushing the phone up to his ear with his shoulder as he attempted to unlock the door. “Of course, when has it ever not been?” 

The pink haired could hear the shrug in Younghoon’s voice as he spoke, quickly moving on to talk about Chanhee’s outfit. 

“So, are you still going with the skirt?” Younghoon teased slightly before Chanhee rolled his eyes, setting his bag and his keys down as he made his way inside. His dorm was relatively clean, so considering it was just pregame with a few friends, he wasn’t worried about tidying up at all. 

“Yes, asshole,” Chanhee quipped, shifting his phone to the other ear. “If Juyeon really is bi, I’ve at least got some of both if I do that. Plus my legs look hot when I wear thigh highs.” 

“Hee, you are _such_ a bottom.”

“Yah! That was uncalled for,” Chanhee smiled brightly as he plopped down on his bed. “I could top if I wanted to.” 

Younghoon laughed loudly, making Chanhee scowl. “Chanhee, babe, you are so close to being a pillow princess it’s not even a joke anymore.” 

Groaning, Chanhee ran a hand through his hair before sighing in defeat. “Okay fine, maybe I am more of a bottom than I’d like to admit, but Juyeon seems like he’d want control anyways so maybe that’s perfect.” 

Humming in agreement, Younghoon opted to end the call, saying he’d be over in around an hour with Kevin and Jacob. 

Chanhee kept himself busy with little chores around the house until he heard a knock, his door swinging open as Younghoon made his way in. 

“Your favorite person is here!” Younghoon yelled out, a bright smile on his face as he set down the few bottles of alcohol he had brought on the counter. 

Chanhee stuck his tongue out at the other. “As if you’re my favorite.”

Younghoon put a hand over his heart, leaning back dramatically with a pained expression on his face. Chanhee smiled brightly, rolling his eyes at his best friend as he sat down at the bar in his kitchen. 

“So are Kevin and Jacob coming later?” Chanhee turned his head to the side, taking the bottles out of the bags Younghoon brought with him. The brown haired shook his head. 

“They decided to pregame with Eric, and I would’ve rather been here,” Chanhee nodded, a sense of warmth filling his chest at the fact that his best friend chose him. “So you’re stuck with me all night!”

Chanhee snorted, messing up Younghoon’s hair as he grabbed a drink and started to make his way towards his bathroom. They had two hours until they needed to leave, so he needed to start getting ready, and Younghoon did too. 

“Hoon, want me to do your makeup?” 

-

Two hours and a handful of shots later, Chanhee and Younghoon were making their way to the party on the other side of campus. 

Chanhee was clad in white, sheer thigh highs that came about halfway up his thighs, topped with a plain black pleated skirt that left around 3 inches of bare thigh exposed. He had on a white oversized sweater, that was cropped and showing off the belt around the waistband of his skirt. It complimented his figure immensely, showing off his long, slender legs while the belt accentuated his small waist. He had on a simple choker that was just a silver chain, and his earrings were simple but elegant as they dangled from his ears, swinging with every bob of his head. Chanhee’s pink hair was parted down the middle, his bangs curled slightly to make a heart shape that showed off his forehead just a bit. As for makeup, he had put the smallest dusting of glitter over his eyelids, and had gone a bit heavy on the blush to make him look as soft as possible along with a faded red lip tint. 

Younghoon on the other hand was way more laid back, choosing some plain black jeans paired with a turtleneck and a simple dangly necklace that was on display. His dark brown hair was pushed back, showing off his forehead and his undercut. He had in small hoop earrings, and he had on a few rings that complimented his long slender fingers. 

Chanhee smiled sweetly at his best friend, adjusting his skirt slightly before stepping towards the door, gesturing for Younghoon to follow him before he locked the door. 

They walked across the campus to one of the frat houses, where they could hear the music from the front lawn as they walked to enter the house. They were greeted with a considerable amount of people, but it wasn’t as crowded as a typical party on campus. When they walked in, they made their way past the crowds of people dancing with each other in favor of walking towards the kitchen to grab drinks. 

When they walked in, there were only a small handful of people in the kitchen, and of course one of them had to be Lee Juyeon. 

Chanhee flushed, playing with the dainty rings on his long fingers as he tried to make his way past Juyeon’s prying gaze. He knew the other was looking at him, and he couldn’t blame him. If he suddenly saw a guy from his class in a skirt, he’d probably react the same way. 

As Juyeon’s gaze burned into the back of his exposed thighs, Chanhee followed Younghoon through and grabbed a cup, deciding on rum and coke. Chanhee quickly turned around in an attempt to escape Juyeon’s gaze, but as he did so he ran into something, or rather someone, blocking his path. 

Stumbling as he cursed, Chanhee dropped his drink, his hands immediately finding purchase to hold himself on the sleeves of none other than Lee fucking Juyeon. 

The taller boy’s hands found their way to Chanhee’s slim waist, automatically slipping under the short sweater and gripping warm skin. Blushing so hard his face felt like it was on fire, Chanhee looked up at Juyeon with wide eyes, stuttering out an apology as his hands tightened on the sleeves of the others shirt. 

“Looks like you fell for me, pretty thing.” 

Good lord, Juyeon would be the death of him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has lots of smut (oops) 
> 
> i may have gone a bit overboard i just really enjoyed writing it because it’s self indulgent

“Looks like you fell for me, pretty thing.”   
  
And _that_ is how Chanhee ends up in Juyeon’s arms with his large hands engulfing his waist, his pinky finger dipping slightly into the waistband of the smaller boy’s skirt. With wide eyes, Chanhee stumbled on his feet before planting them firmly, although his legs were so shaky he felt like they’d buckle as soon as Juyeon took his hands away from him.

The skin that Juyeon’s hands were touching was tingling, and it made a wave of arousal flare through Chanhee as he looked up at him. 

“S-sorry,” Chanhee stuttered out, his voice shaky. “I wasn’t paying attention-”   
  
“It’s okay,” Juyeon’s warm eyes showed sincerity, and his soft voice sent shivers down Chanhee’s spine. “I got too close, it’s on me.”   
  
Chanhee laughed shakily before he realized Juyeon’s thumb had started stroking along his waist, and the pink haired struggled to bite back a moan at the gentle pressure. Juyeon smirked like he knew what he was doing, and he probably did. He probably got a kick out of how sensitive Chanhee was, and he’d use it to make fun of him later to all of his friends and-

“What are you thinking about, pretty baby?” 

The pet name went straight to Chanhee’s crotch, a small whimper escaping his mouth as he scrunched his eyes shut. He couldn’t look at Juyeon right now, he thought as he focused on controlling his breathing. Suddenly he felt something soft brush against his cheek, and he opened his eyes to find Juyeon leaned forward with his mouth right next to Chanhee’s ear. 

“Am I making you flustered?” Juyeon whispered lowly, hands tightening their hold on Chanhee’s waist. “Are you that sensitive and needy?”

Chanhee immediately nodded, and Juyeon backed up with a smirk. His hands released Chanhee’s waist, the smaller of the two whimpering at the lack of contact. He stumbled slightly before regaining his balance and taking a deep breath. 

Juyeon grabbed Chanhee’s hand, pulling him slightly. “Dance with me?”   
  
Nodding, Chanhee gestured shakily towards the floor where his drink was spilled. “I need to clean that up first, I-”   
  
“I’ll get it,” Younghoon finally chimed in, and Chanhee turned bright red when he realized his best friend had witnessed that whole exchange. “Juyeon, you should make him a new drink though. He never got to drink any of his other one.”   
  
Juyeon immediately walked towards the drink table, but refused to let go of Chanhee’s hand, squeezing it slightly as the other was dragged along. “Rum and coke, hmm? You seemed more like a fruity drinker.”   
  
Shaking his head as he made a face, Chanhee toyed lightly with the fingers of Juyeon’s free hand. Not only did it just feel right, it was a good way to use his hands when he felt shy so he didn’t fidget too much.   
  
“They’re too sweet for me,” Juyeon handed him his new drink and he took a sip before continuing. “I prefer the feeling of drinking rum and coke anyways.”

Juyeon nodded before walking to leave the kitchen, making his way into the living room where a majority of the dancing was happening. There was an upbeat but sensual pop song playing, one Chanhee vaguely recognized but couldn’t remember where he’d heard it. Juyeon raised Chanhee’s arm up, spinning him around until his backside was pressed against the taller’s front. It wasn’t necessarily in a sexual way, but the idea that Chanhee could rub against Juyeon at any moment was hanging heavily in the air. 

Juyeon rested his hands on Chanhee’s hip, drink abandoned in the kitchen. His large hands wrapped entirely around the petite boy’s hips, and he groaned at how small he felt under Juyeon’s touch. He knew he was small, but something about the way Juyeon touched him made him feel like he could break and he was obsessed with it.

On a whim, Chanhee decided to lean his head back onto Juyeon’s shoulders, exposing his neck. The grip on his hips tightened as plush lips met his neck and drew moans out of him that were quickly drowned out by the music, but he knew Juyeon was close enough to hear it because of the way he was pressed insistently against Chanhee. 

Chanhee’s mouth fell open, eyes squeezing shut and Juyeon nipped at his neck, teeth grazing flushed skin before his tongue darted out to soothe the reddening skin. His free hand gripped the hairs at the base of Juyeon’s neck, and he felt the taller groan against his skin as the hands on his hips turned into a bruising grip. 

“God,” Chanhee whined out as Juyeon left a small hickey on the base of his neck. “Juyeon-”   
  
“Do you.. Wanna get out of here?” Juyeon mumbled in his ear before planting a soft kiss along Chanhee’s jawline. “If I’m overstepping just tell me and I’ll back off, but you look so pretty in your skirt all I can think about is absolutely ruining you.” 

That was it. That was the final straw.

Chanhee flipped around in Juyeon’s grip and tugged him closer by his belt loops, kissing him gently as the large hands slipped under his sweater again. He wrapped his legs around the other’s thigh, who groaned as his hands roamed under Chanhee’s sweater. 

“I would love to get out of here,” Chanhee whispered breathily after breaking the kiss. “It just started though, I wouldn’t want to drag you away from-” 

“Chanhee,” Oh _god_ did he love the way his name sounded coming out of Juyeon’s mouth. “I’ve been looking at you for weeks now, please don’t try to convince me to stay unless you don’t want this.”   
  
Juyeon had been looking at him for weeks? Does that mean Juyeon had been pining for Chanhee as much as he had been for the other? Thoughts swirled in Chanhee’s brain as he tried to piece it together before Juyeon kissed him gently, the darkness in his eyes replaced by a bright warmth. 

“Really, tell me if you don’t want to, or I could at least take you on a date or something instead.”   
  
Although a date did sound appealing, Chanhee hadn’t worn a skirt for nothing. 

Chanhee shook his head, planting a small kiss on Juyeon’s cheek before he gestured towards the door with his head. “Where do you wanna…” 

Juyeon let out the prettiest laugh Chanhee had ever heard, bright and ringing in his ears. He took Chanhee by the hand, pulling him towards one of the back rooms of the house, tucked away behind a few hallways. They stepped into the room and Chanhee immediately could feel Juyeon’s personality in the little decorations in the space. 

“I’m sorry if I..” Chanhee started, suddenly flustered when he realized the situation he was in. He sucked in a deep breath before rephrasing his sentence. “I’ve done stuff before but I’ve never.. Slept with someone before anything else happened, I guess.” 

The other nodded, pulling Chanhee close as he nuzzled his nose along his neck. “Well, I’ll make sure tonight is extra special, and I can take you on a proper date after.” 

Chanhee’s knees buckled slightly, the insinuation of more clouding his mind as he stared up at Juyeon in wonder. 

“Please,” the younger whined out, eyes shining as he shifted his hips against Juyeon’s thigh, his skirt riding up ever so slightly. “Need it.” 

Juyeon slid his hands slowly along Chanhee’s slender thighs, stopping just below his ass as he directed him back towards the bed. The back of the younger’s knees hit the bed as he fell back, hands laid by his head as Juyeon’s larger ones pinned them down. 

“Need what, baby?” More kisses were planted softly along Chanhee’s jaw as he tilted his head back. “Use your words or I won’t do anything.”   
  
The threat hung in the air, making the pink haired whine as he tried to take a deep breath, trying to get his brain to form words as Juyeon continued kissing down Chanhee’s now exposed shoulder. Juyeon slid his hands down to the waistband of the skirt, undoing the belt and tossing it to the side as he went to undo the skirt. Before Chanhee could register what he was doing, his eyes went open in shock as he yelped, hands grabbing at nothing as his skirt came off. 

He had forgotten he had worn black, lacy panties underneath his skirt, not actually thinking Juyeon would end up seeing them. He turned bright red out of embarrassment, covering his face with both hands as he waited for the judging words to come out. 

“ _God_ , you’re so perfect,” Juyeon murdered against his skin, hands cupping his ass as he felt the soft fabric separating the two of them. “All pretty for me, princess?”   
  
Chanhee let out the loudest moan yet, nodding his head as Juyeon’s hands worked his sweater off of him, leaving him in nothing but the lingerie and the furious blush that had taken over his body. The large hands roamed everywhere on his body, fleeting touches making arousal stir in the bottom of his stomach as he bucked his hips up, searching for friction. 

“Juyeonie,” He breathed out, hands grasping at the older’s clothes for purchase. “Please don’t tease me, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”   
  
Juyeon hummed, slotting his thigh between Chanhee’s legs as he applied the slightest pressure, making the younger mewl. “Wanted what, hmm? Tell me.”   
  
“W-wanted your fingers,” Chanhee moaned, unable to control his hips as he rubbed against Juyeon’s thigh. “Thought about them inside of me, thought about _you_ inside of me, thought about how big your hands are and how small they’d make me feel.” 

When Chanhee’s blabbering quieted down, Juyeon smirked, bringing his hand up to trace his thumb along the younger’s bottom lip. Chanhee quickly darted his tongue out to swipe at the finger, before softly pulling it into his mouth as he made eye contact with Juyeon. 

“Such a naughty little thing,” The digit was pulled out of Chanhee’s mouth, a trail of saliva connecting it as Juyeon smeared it across his pouty lips. “Want me to make you feel good, baby?”   
  
Nodding fervently, Chanhee arched his back and pouted before looking up at Juyeon. “Why are you still so dressed, ‘s no fair.”   
  
Grabby hands scrambled to grab Juyeon’s shirt and tug, slipping it off of him as wandering hands latched onto his body. 

They soon were both stripped down to only their under garments, and Chanhee could see just how big Juyeon was as he hovered over his petite body. He thought the older might break him in half, and that idea excited him. 

“Juyeonie, please,” Chanhee whined particularly loudly as the older palmed over his bulge, the thin lacy fabric leaving nothing to the imagination. “Let me suck you off.”   
  
Juyeon let go of Chanhee with a groan, dragging him up as he situated himself back on the bed. The younger closed the space quickly, mouth watering at the prospect of having Juyeon’s length in his mouth as he quickly slipped down his boxers. 

“You’re so _big,”_ Chanhee murmured, eyes wide as he looked at the cock in his hands like it was the best thing he’d ever seen. He gave a few small licks to the head, testing the waters to see what noises he could draw out of Juyeon before he sank all the way down until the tip hit the back of his throat. That was what he was best at, that was his star move to impress his partners, and Juyeon seemed to be no different than anyone else he had been with.   
  
The older groaned, hands fingering through Chanhee’s hair as he encouraged him with filthy words of praise. Chanhee was so subspaced and focused on making Juyeon feel good, and all he heard was the occasional _good boy, so good for me, taking it so well, such a pretty little thing._ The praise went straight to his crotch, and he could feel himself leaking slightly as he wanted nothing more than to have Juyeon inside of him right then and there. 

“Baby,” Juyeon moaned, throwing his head back as Chanhee hollowed his cheeks. “I’m gonna cum too fast if you don’t stop.”   
  
Chanhee pulled off, quickly moving to straddle Juyeon’s lap, grabbing the hairs on the nape of his neck to pull him into a kiss. His large hands quickly wrapped tightly around the younger’s waist, fingers dipping into his panties as he ground his hips down. 

“Please, need you,” Chanhee moaned into Juyeon’s mouth, throwing his head back as the older’s hands cupped his ass. “Just do it, please.”   
  
Juyeon growled, released Chanhee’s hips as he patted his slender thighs. “Up, get on all fours for me princess.”   
  
A wave of pleasure coursed through Chanhee’s body at the order. He scrambled to flip himself over, his ass in the air as he pressed his face down into the pillows. His hands found purchase in the sheets as Juyeon ran light touches all over his thighs, teasing over his bulge. Before he realized, suddenly there was a loud _smack_ resonating through the room, forcing a sob out of Chanhee as one of Juyeon’s large hands came down on his pale skin. After a few more hits, the younger’s eyes watering at the pleasurable pain, Juyeon rubbed soothingly over the area, pressing soft kisses into Chanhee’s spine as he slid the panties down his plush thighs. 

“Such a good boy for me,” The words echoed in Chanhee’s head as they were murmered into his skin. “Taking what I give you so well, baby.” 

Moaning, Chanhee arched his back off the bed, hands squeezing the sheets as Juyeon ran his thumb along his tight hole. It was such a light touch it barely felt real, yet it made Chanhee cry out in pleasure, pushing his hips back slightly to beg for more. 

“Please,” Chanhee begged, although he wasn’t sure what for, he just wanted something. “ _Please_.” 

A soft laugh bubbled from Juyeon’s chest as he reached towards his nightstand, pulling out the lube. “Sorry, you’re just so pretty when you’re writhing like that. It’s so fun to tease you.”   
  
The sound of the lube cap flicking open filled the room, and a shiver went down Chanhee’s spine in anticipation as he felt a wet finger circling his rim. He shifted his hips, trying to get Juyeon to just _do it_ already, but when he chased the finger another smack resonated through the room as the sting lingered on his thigh. 

“Good boys take what they’re given, don’t they?” Juyeon continued lightly teasing Chanhee’s entrance, and the younger boy nearly sobbed from how much he wanted it and how frustrated he was. “I didn’t give you permission to do that, baby.” 

Chanhee whined out an _I’m sorry_ before Juyeon finally pushed the digit in slowly, a wanton moan filling the room as the younger finally had the long slender fingers inside of him. It was better than any daydream his mind could have come up with, already feeling so full from a single finger. 

“Oh _god_ , Juyeonie,” The squelching sound filled the room, and Chanhee moaned at how wet and messy it sounded. He felt filthy in all of the best ways, legs spread with everything on display for the man behind him. 

“Feel good, princess?” Juyeon started moving his finger in and out. “Look at you, all spread out and needy and I don’t even have my cock in you yet.”   
  
The humiliation settled into Chanhee’s stomach quickly, making his own member twitch at the filthy praise spilling from the other’s lips. “More, _please_.”   
  
Slipping in a second finger, Juyeon scissored Chanhee open as his hand stroked softly up his thigh, teasingly close to his leaking cock. He grabbed the younger’s length lightly, his large hand covering the other completely as he jerked him off slowly. The smaller let out a sob, the pleasure from Juyeon’s fingers and his hand around his length overwhelming, but he still wanted more. 

Juyeon worked him up to three fingers, waiting for Chanhee to relax and moans to fall from his lips before he pulled his fingers out. The younger whined, clenching around nothing as the cold air hit the lube covering his drenched hole. He waited patiently for Juyeon as he heard shuffling, realizing what he was looking for. 

“You don’t have to…” Chanhee breathed out, blushing immensely. “I’m clean, haven’t been fucked in a long time anyways, you don’t have to use one unless you want to.”   
  
Juyeon groaned, pausing before he walked back to Chanhee and grabbed his jaw with his large hand. 

“Is that why you’re so needy? Haven’t been taken care of in a long time, have you princess?” Juyeon’s hand drifted down Chanhee’s neck, squeezing ever so slightly before dropping him back down to bury his flushed face in the pillows. “I’ll make you feel good, baby, don’t worry. I’ve got you.”   
  
Chanhee nodded, turning to face Juyeon, who kissed him on the forehead gently, a stark contrast to the hand that was wrapped around his cock barely a minute prior. He felt the weight shift behind him as Juyeon’s large hands gripped his narrow waist. 

“Ready?” Juyeon asked softly, nudging Chanhee’s thighs apart as he rubbed the head of his cock against his entrance, drawing whines out of the younger, who nodded rapidly. 

“Words, baby,” Juyeon said sternly as his grip turned bruising. “I want to hear you say it. Beg for it if you want it so bad.”   
  
Chanhee gasped, words and pleas flowing out of him so fast he didn’t even register what he was saying. “Juyeonie, _please_ , I need you so bad, want you to fill me up, I wanna be good for you. Please.”   
  
Juyeon moaned, squeezing in approval as he pushed the head of his cock into Chanhee’s tight hole. As he bottomed out, Chanhee’s front half falling completely down into the mattress, he ran his hands up and down the younger’s sides to soothe him. Chanhee didn’t really need it, though. He loved the stretch, loved the way it burned, loved how it felt to be split open. It had been so long since he’d been fucked that he knew just how pleasurable this was for Juyeon as well as himself. 

Then there was a moment of silence as Juyeon gave him time to adjust and waited for him to tell him he could move. Chanhee took a few deep breaths, wiggling his hips experimentally as he let out loud moans. 

  
“Go ahead,” He whined, pushing his hips back as he had a moment of boldness. “And don’t go easy on me, I want you to use me until I can’t think anymore.”   
  
It was that moment that something snapped in Juyeon. He growled low in the back of his throat, pulling out slowly before positively slamming back into Chanhee’s puffy hole. 

“ _Fuck,_ s-so big,” Chanhee muttered, struggling to hold himself up as his arms began to shake from the constant pleasure running through his body. Juyeon grabbed the mess of pink hair on his head, pulling Chanhee up so his back was pressed against his chest as he picked up the pace. 

He hit Chanhee’s prostate dead on with every thrust, making the younger sob and go limp in his arms. He hadn’t felt this much pleasure in months, on the brink of a year actually, and the fact that it was with Juyeon simply heightened everything that he was feeling. Every touch, every movement, every kiss felt ten times better than it had with anyone else. Chanhee felt loved, he felt taken care of, and he felt safe in Juyeon’s arms as he pounded into him. 

“God, baby, look at you just sucking me in,” Juyeon muttered in Chanhee’s ear as the younger leaned his head back to rest on his shoulder, hands reaching back to curl in his dark hair. “Does it feel good, princess?” 

Chanhee moaned, his voice breaking as Juyeon reached down to tug at his neglected cock. 

“I asked you a question. That means you answer it,” Juyeon commanded in his ear, biting down on a soft spot on his neck before he slapped Chanhee’s thigh harshly. The younger cried out, sobbing a _yes_ before Juyeon dropped him back down on the mattress. He pushed Chanhee’s face down into the mattress, relishing in the power he held over the smaller. 

“S-so close,” Chanhee mumbled, hand moving between his legs to touch himself. Juyeon smacked his hand away, setting a brutal pace as he gripped the back of Chanhee’s neck. 

“Did I say you could touch?” The younger whined loudly at his words. He was so incredibly overwhelmed, but at the same time it wasn’t enough to push him over the edge, to give him what he needed. “I want you to come from just my cock, baby, want you to show me how good I fuck you.” 

Chanhee was almost wailing at this point, tears leaking down his face as he squeezed his eyes shut. Juyeon continued to whisper filthy words into his ear before he pulled Chanhee up by the throat again, grabbing his jaw and kissing him messily. 

“Want you to come for me while I can see your face,” He grunted. “I want you to show me how good I make you feel, princess.” 

Chanhee squeezed his eyes shut, mouth falling open as tears ran down his face. One last squeeze of his throat is what sent him tumbling over the edge, sobbing as stars crowded his vision. He felt like he was in heaven, his orgasm rocking through him in waves as Juyeon continued to chase after his own high. 

“God, look at you baby, so pretty all fucked out because of me,” Juyeon rambled, and it was obvious he was getting close because of the sloppiness of his thrusts. Chanhee’s cock twitched again at his words, and he felt himself slowly getting hard again as Juyeon abused his prostate. 

“No no no,” Chanhee chanted, the overstimulation almost painful. “Please, Juyeonie, hurry, want you to fill me up.”   
  
Juyeon moaned at the sight of Chanhee getting worked up again, and it put a smirk on his face, an idea coming to his head.   
  
“Can you come for me one more time, baby?” 

Chanhee whined, sobbing from the overwhelming pleasure that was taking over him. He shook his head, but didn’t stop the older, whining as Juyeon wrapped his hand around his sensitive length once more.   
  
That was all it took to send Chanhee tumbling over once more, cock twitching in Juyeon’s hand as he sobbed into the older’s neck. He was clenched so tightly around him that it sent Juyeon into his climax. The warm heat that flooded Chanhee’s inside was perfect, and he wished he could feel like this forever. 

“So good, baby,” Juyeon slowed down his thrusts as he fucked Chanhee through his release, finally stopping. “You did so good for me, so proud of you, my good boy.” 

Chanhee was still shaking, the effects of coming twice in a row still present as tears continued streaming down his face. As Juyeon pulled out, Chanhee whined at the sudden emptiness, his abused hole stretching around nothing as the older’s release dripped messily down his thighs.   
  
“I could watch that view forever,” Juyeon groaned. “You look so pretty, all fucked out like this.”   
  
Chanhee squeezed his eyes shut, planting his face in the mattress as Juyeon ran to go get a wet washcloth. He gently cleaned Chanhee up, careful not to hurt him from how sensitive he was. The entire time he continued whispering praises in the younger’s ears, who had a warm feeling spreading throughout his body now that he was breathing like a normal person again. 

“Come on, baby, we gotta get you dressed or you’ll get cold,” Juyeon pulled Chanhee up gently, who’s eyes were already fluttering shut as he tried his best to help him stand on shaky legs. “You weren’t kidding when you said it’s been a long, were you?”   
  
Chanhee shook his head, blushing. “It’s probably been close to nine months, and even then it was never like that. I was always the one doing all the work, and there were a few times the other guy finished and left me to take care of myself.”   
  
Juyeon’s mouth fell open in shock, looking absolutely appalled as he handed Chanhee a random pair of boxers and one of his hoodies. “You’re _kidding._ That’s so selfish! How could they not want to see you like that, you looked so pretty.” 

Blushing as he pulled on Juyeon’s hoodie, he shrugged. Chanhee pulled the sleeves down over his hands, wrapping his arms around himself and inhaling the sandalwood scent of the other. Juyeon caught him, sadly enough, and smiled brightly as Chanhee hid his face behind his hands. 

“You like how I smell?” Juyeon teased, slipping into his own clothes as he wormed into bed next to the younger. “You can take that with you tomorrow, if you’d like. I plan on seeing you again anyways, if that’s alright with you.” 

The pink haired wrapped his arm around Juyeon’s waist, throwing his leg over the longer ones as he settled his head against his chest. He grabbed the older’s fingers, fiddling with the lonely black band he had on his index finger. It had been a really long time since he’d felt the warmth of another person, let alone after having mind-blowing sex, and Chanhee felt like he was on cloud nine. 

“Are you actually interested in me or did you just think I looked hot in a skirt?” Chanhee blurted out, mind going crazy as he looked up at Juyeon carefully. “I just.. I don’t want to end up thinking it’s going somewhere if all you wanted was sleeping together.”   
  
“Of course it’s not just sex, baby,” The pet name made Chanhee shiver a bit as warmth spread through him. “I’ve thought you were really cute for a while now, and I wanted to get to know you anyways.”   
  
“Good,” Chanhee let out a sigh of relief. “Because I’ve been crushing on you for _weeks_ now, Ju.” 

Laughing fondly at the nickname, Juyeon tucked a long finger under Chanhee’s chin, pulling him up into a gentle kiss as he picked the smaller up to place him on his lap. Chanhee laid his head on Juyeon’s chest, listening to his heartbeat as the older ran his fingers gently through his hair. 

“Y’know,” Chanhee slurred, the exhaustion from the events of tonight taking over. “I haven’t cuddled with someone to sleep in a _really_ long time. And when I did it never felt so… loving. It always felt like more of an obligation than them wanting to show me physical affection.” 

Juyeon shifted slightly, picking Chanhee’s small face up in his large hands as he pressed a small kiss to his forehead. “Well you deserve everything and more, so if I ever need to do more, or there’s something else you want, don’t be scared to tell me, baby. I want to take care of you and make you feel loved.”   
  
Chanhee’s face flushed, eyes widening at the warmth in Juyeon’s voice. He leaned forward and kissed the man underneath him softly, before he slipped his tongue into the kiss. Juyeon groaned, hand tightening along Chanhee’s jaw as he stroked his thumb across the apple of the smaller’s red cheek. 

“No one’s ever wanted to do that before,” Chanhee breathed out in amazement, staring at Juyeon like he hung the stars in the sky. “But I don’t- I don’t want to be a bother or ask for too much, Juyeonie.”   
  
“Baby, it makes me happy to take care of you,” Juyeon smiled at him warmly. “That’s why I loved tonight so much, I loved being able to give you what you wanted and make you feel good.”   
  
Chanhee nodded slowly, his small hands coming up to wrap around Juyeon’s larger ones. “You’re sure? I know I’m… really needy and clingy most of the time.”   
  
“I know,” Juyeon hummed in satisfaction as he traced Chanhee’s bottom lip with his thumb. “That’s what I love about you. It makes me feel needed and wanted in all the best ways.”   
  


Chanhee opened his mouth a fraction, slipping Juyeon’s thumb in his mouth as he looked up at him with shining eyes. Juyeon groaned, the pad of his thumb pressing insistently against his tongue. Chanhee lathered the digit in his saliva before Juyeon pulled it out, wiping the moisture across his swollen lips before pressing two of his fingers back into his mouth. 

Welcoming the intrusion, Chanhee sighed softly as he let his eyes fall shut. He loved having things in his mouth, and Juyeon let him continue to lap at his fingers before he shifted slightly.   
  
“Baby, if you keep doing that we’re gonna have another problem on our hands,” Juyeon muttered, but his fingers stayed in Chanhee’s mouth as he worked his tongue around them gently. “You like that? Like it when I keep your mouth busy?”   
  
The arousal that flooded through Chanhee was almost painful after cumming twice untouched tonight. Juyeon pulled his fingers out, leaving the younger to whine gently at the loss. 

“Some other time, I promise.”   
  
Chanhee hummed at that, letting his head fall sleepily on Juyeon’s chest. The older continued to stroke his hair, eventually lulling him to sleep in his arms. 

-

It had been two weeks since that night at the party, and Juyeon had taken Chanhee on 6 dates and was constantly bringing him around to his house to simply spend time together. He had gotten to know his roommates, Eric, Hyunjun, Sangyeon, and Hyunjae. They were all sweet and welcoming the morning after the party when he walked out in nothing but Juyeon’s oversized hoodie. 

Chanhee was retelling these events to Younghoon, who he hadn’t quite had time to tell the details to yet. He had gone on about their dates, how good Juyeon smelled, how warm he was, how gorgeous his laugh was, everything. Younghoon had listened intently, a concentrated look on his face as he drank his coffee. 

“Well, get to the interesting parts,” Younghoon said teasingly. “How was the sex?”   
  
Chanhee choked on the sip of his drink he had just taken, setting his cup down as his eyes widened. “You really wanna know?” 

Younghoon nodded, shrugging. “I wanna know if he’s giving you what you deserve, considering how long it had been since you slept with someone before now.” 

“Well, it felt like heaven,” Chanhee started carefully, avoiding eye contact with Younghoon. “After we left the kitchen we danced for a bit, and oh my _god_ his hands are so big, and then we went back to his room.”   
  
He paused, seeing if Younghoon looked grossed out yet, but he had a passive expression on his face as he listened.   
  
“It’s like he knew just what I wanted, Hoonie, and he thought it was really hot that I wore lace,” Chanhee continued. Thinking back on that night stirred arousal low in his gut since he and Juyeon hadn’t done anything since that night. “His hands are so big they fit on my entire ass, it’s so hot, and he.. This is a bit TMI but he wouldn’t let me touch, you know, so I came twice untouched and I felt like I was in heaven. He’s _big_ , Hoon.”   
  
Younghoon scrunched his face up slightly. “Is he possessive?”   
  
“Yeah, it’s really hot honestly, he kept saying he wanted to see how good he made me feel,” Any shame Chanhee had left flew out the window as he thought about that night. “And he has such a thing for pet names too, and when he gets all worked up he rambles a lot and it’s so hot.”   
  
“Well it sounds like a good time,” Younghoon replied. “That alone covers some of your major kinks so that’s good. At least he didn’t turn out to be a subby top or I don’t think you would’ve gotten anywhere.”   
  
Chanhee rolled his eyes, biting back his response as he quickly changed the subject. Talking about that night just made him flustered, it made him worked up in ways only Juyeon could fix now. 

They spent the better part of two hours talking and catching up before Chanhee remembered he had homework to finish. They went their separate ways as Chanhee walked back to his dorms, the sun slowly setting as he made his way across campus. 

“Hey baby,” Chanhee gasped as he heard the familiar voice like music to his ears, warm arms wrapping around his waist as soft lips pressed against his neck. 

“Juyeonie,” Juyeon nipped softly at his neck as he turned, giving him better access. “What are you doing here?”   
  
“I was walking across campus, and I just wanted to see my baby bun,” Chanhee flushed as Juyeon spoke the pet name into his neck gently. “Missed you, baby.”   
  
“I missed you too, Juyeonie,” There was a pause before the younger giggled, turned around in Juyeon’s hold to kiss him deeply. “I have homework tonight though, I need to go get it done. How about I come to yours after I’m done and then we can spend some time together?”   
  
Nodding, Juyeon kissed him deeply one last time before his nose nudged along Chanhee’s neck, tongue darting out as he sucked a small hickey on the side of his neck. Moaning, the younger threw his head back, letting Juyeon kiss gently along the slim column of his neck as he felt himself getting worked up. 

But then Juyeon was pulling back, planting a small kiss on Chanhee’s forehead before leaving with a small, “Goodbye, princess.”   
  
And that’s how Chanhee was left, standing in the middle of his college campus with a hard on, cursing Lee Juyeon for being so intoxicatingly perfect. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one has some more angst in it (i promise i’m not trying to make ju look like an asshole on purpose it’s just the plot pls)

“Juyeonieeee.” 

Chanhee was in Juyeon’s room, laying on the older’s bed as he sat at his desk doing homework. It had been over an hour now, and the younger was getting bored of the games on his phone as time went on. 

“What is it, baby?” Juyeon leaned back for a moment, stretching as he turned to the younger, who was upside down with his legs on the bed and his upper half hanging off. Laughing slightly, Juyeon turned around to give his full attention to Chanhee.

The younger pouted, making grabby hands as he looked up at Juyeon. “I want you.” 

“You have me right here,” Juyeon laughed, standing up and making his way over to the pouting baby in front of him. He set his hands on his waist, rubbing soothing circles as he crouched down to be eye level with Chanhee. “What do you want? Use your words, princess.”    
  
“I want cuddles,” Chanhee said softly. “And kisses.”    
  
Juyeon chuckled lightly, thinking for a moment before shrugging. “I could use a break anyways.”   
  
Chanhee jumped up from his place on the bed, excited, as Juyeon slipped into bed next to him. He wrapped his arms around the younger’s small frame, pulling him close and rubbing his nose along his neck. Sighing in contentment, Chanhee fitted himself into Juyeon’s embrace, hands clutching at his shirt as he inhaled his smell. 

“Finally,” Chanhee mumbled. “I thought you’d be doing homework forever.”    
  
Running his fingers through his pink hair, Juyeon kissed down the side of Chanhee’s neck and up to his jawline. Chanhee let out a shaky breath, eyes fluttering shut as he pressed himself against Juyeon’s legs. They still hadn’t done anything intimate since that first night at the party, and it had been around two and a half months since they had started going on dates. They had plenty of opportunities to do things, Juyeon just never wanted to go too far and make Chanhee uncomfortable. 

“Ju,” Chanhee sighed out, lust clouding his mind. “Please touch me.”    
  
Juyeon’s eyes widened as he pressed a small kiss to Chanhee’s cheek. “As much as I want to, I have to go back to my homework soon, baby. I can’t get both of us all riled up.”    
  
Chanhee pouted but understood, kissing Juyeon gently as he threw his leg over the others to perch himself on his lap. Juyeon smiled brightly, the warmth taking over his face as he rested his hands gently on the younger’s hips and rubbed small circles onto his sharp hip bones. The motion made a wave of arousal shoot through Chanhee’s body, but he took a deep breath to calm himself.    
  
He let his lips wander down Juyeon’s jaw, tongue darting out every so often as he travelled over the sensitive skin. Groaning, the older’s grip tightened and Chanhee smirked at how much power he had over the man underneath him. As much as Juyeon could wreck him, the younger always managed to have just as much of an affect on him. 

“Baby,” Juyeon dug his fingers threateningly into Chanhee’s hips. “Stop it.”    
  
Chanhee smirked against his skin, marking one more hickey behind Juyeon’s ear before he sat back and admired him. “I wasn’t doing anything.”    
  
“You know what you were doing,” Juyeon’s voice had dropped a bit. “Don’t make me punish you if you keep misbehaving when I tell you not to.”   
  
Chanhee bit back a moan at the threat, testing the waters by running his hands up Juyeon’s arms before bending back down to mouth at his collarbones. Juyeon sighed before he stood up, setting a shocked Chanhee back down on the bed by himself.    


“I was going to tell you we could if you let me finish my homework, but since you didn’t listen, I’ll leave you all needy for the rest of the night,” Juyeon smirked, knowing it would work as soon as he heard the yelp Chanhee let out. “Now, I’m going back to finishing my homework.”

Chanhee pouted, sticking his tongue out at Juyeon until he found himself smiling brightly. The older knew him so well, and it only made the younger’s soft spot for him grow.

-

“Hoonie!” Chanhee yelled over the loud music of the party, standing on his toes to search for his friend above the heads of the other people. It wasn’t that hard considering how damn tall Younghoon is, and he finds him quickly enough after scanning the crowd a few times. 

He motions for Younghoon to join him, and he sees the tall shoulders slump down before reluctantly making his way out into the center of the room where the bulk of people were. He knew Younghoon wasn’t a huge fan of dancing in crowds, preferring to spend the time with the people that mattered to him, but occasionally the taller one indulged him. 

Chanhee was almost drunk, to the point where he was giggly and clinging to Younghoon, who wasn’t as gone as Chanhee but was still pretty tipsy. They both swayed to the music, laughing and exchanging words that neither heard as they clung to each other. Parties with just Younghoon were some of Chanhee’s favorite parties, when he got to see him relax for once. 

“Hee,” Younghoon yelled, breath hitting Chanhee’s ear as he leaned in a bit closer than he needed to. “Wanna go get one more drink before we head out?”    
  
Nodding, Chanhee followed him into the kitchen, delicate hands wrapped around Younghoon’s as they wormed through the crowd of people. They quickly fixed their drinks, Chanhee pulling out his phone to check his notifications. 

He sighed, rolling his eyes at himself for expecting anything. Chanhee hadn’t heard from Juyeon since the night before, when he turned the invitation to the party down, saying he had too much homework. He wasn’t mad at his boyfriend, it was a legitimate reason, but it bothered Chanhee that he hadn’t heard from the other since then, not even their usual good morning exchanges. 

“Hey,” Younghoon pulled Chanhee closer to him to speak in his ear, lips brushing against his neck and sending shivers down his spine. “Forget about him for tonight. Let yourself have fun, don’t worry about that right now.”    
  
Chanhee’s eyelashes fluttered as he looked up at Younghoon and nodded. He wouldn’t let his emotions ruin the night, for him or for his best friend. 

Smiling, Younghoon placed a sloppy kiss on Chanhee’s cheek, making him giggle as the frown on his face vanished. They made their way back to the middle of the crowd, and the taller’s hand rested lightly on Chanhee’s prominent hip bone as they swayed to the music together. 

The touch was barely there, but it was enough to leave Chanhee flustered as his drunken mind danced probably a bit too close to Younghoon. 

-

That being said, it’s no surprise he woke up in Younghoon’s arms the next morning, the blankets wrapped around the two of them as they shared their warmth. They both had apparently stripped down to just a shirt and boxers, which was a bit more than the last time they got that wasted together. 

The only difference was the angry Juyeon standing in the doorway with his arms crossed.    
  
Chanhee jumped awake, attempting to sit up before Younghoon groaned and wrapped his arms around the smaller’s body tightly. 

“Hoon,” Chanhee whispered softly. “Wake up, you gotta let go, Ju is here.”    
  
Younghoon’s eyes widened when he realized who was standing in the doorway, quickly letting go of Chanhee. The smaller of the two rolled out of bed, eyes scrunching shut as his head pounded at the sudden movement.    
  
“I’ll just.. go,” Younghoon murmured, standing up and grabbing his belongings on his way as he slipped into a random pair of Chanhee’s sweatpants. “Sorry.”    
  
After Younghoon had been gone, Chanhee pushed past Juyeon to get a glass of water in an attempt to numb the aching in his head. 

“What the hell was that?” Juyeon’s voice sounded uncharacteristically rough. It wasn’t like when they were messing around and he got rough, it was dull and sharp and it hurt Chanhee to hear it like that. “What was he doing in your bed halfway undressed?”    
  
“Juyeonie, please calm down,” Chanhee forced out, tone flat and dull as he looked up at Juyeon with a carefully blank expression. “I’m not going to have this conversation if you’re just going to blow up at me.”    
  
Taking a deep breath in an attempt to relax himself, Juyeon made his way to Chanhee’s desk, taking a seat in the chair. He looked weirdly stiff, like there was something that kept him from fully relaxing. 

“I didn’t fuck Younghoon, if that’s what you’re asking,” Chanhee didn’t even look up at Juyeon as he spoke, choosing to stare down at the rings decorating his fingers that he had forgotten to take off the night before. “We went to the party, I’ve been pretty stressed so we both got drunk, and then we came back and got comfy. It’s what we do every time we go to a party together, that’s all it was.”    
  
Juyeon thought for a moment before he crossed his legs in the chair. “I just… I don’t like it. I don’t like him touching you like that.”    
  
“Well you would’ve been the one in my bed if you had bothered to answer my texts,” Chanhee murmured, rolling his eyes slightly. The older’s jaw clenched before he took a deep breath, hands balling into fists in his lap. 

“Is that what this is about?”    
  
Chanhee scoffed, finally looking up at Juyeon. “I mean, I don’t appreciate it when I don’t hear from my boyfriend for a day and a half. I didn’t even get a good morning text like usual.”    
  
“I told you I’ve been busy-”   
  
“It takes five seconds to type out some shitty, half ass text just to let me know you’re okay. I get worried, you know,” Chanhee cut him off. He knew they didn’t need to text 24/7, but he still appreciated knowing his boyfriend was okay. “It’s stupid, but I do get worried.”    
  
Juyeon sighed, rubbing his hands over his face as he leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. They sat in silence for a minute, Chanhee too unsure of how upset Juyeon was to speak again. 

“Look, I’m sorry baby,” Juyeon’s voice was softer as he looked up to see Chanhee’s watery eyes staring up at him. “Oh, Hee, don’t cry.”    
  
Sniffling, Chanhee folded his arms across his chest as a tear fell down his face, hitting his lap before Juyeon stood up and pulled the younger into his arms. He held him tightly against his chest, hands stroking through soft hair as Juyeon pressed a kiss into Chanhee’s temple.    
  
“I’m not mad, baby, I promise,” Juyeon whispered as he pressed a small kiss just below his ear. “And I’m sorry, I should’ve at least talked to you yesterday.”    
  
Chanhee just sniffled into Juyeon’s shirt, hands clinging tightly to the fabric as his bottom lip wobbled. “I know, I just get scared… I don’t wanna lose you, Ju.”    
  
“You won’t, I’m right here,” Juyeon whispered. “It just… doesn’t look right when I see you two cuddling half naked the night after a party, where I know you two got pretty drunk.”    
  
Chanhee nodded but still wouldn’t look up at him, instead burying his face further into Juyeon’s chest. Juyeon leaned back the slightest bit, using his finger to tilt Chanhee’s head up to look at him.    
  
“Are we okay?”    
  
Chanhee nodded, letting out a shaky breath and Juyeon kissed him softly. He trusted Juyeon, trusted that he wouldn’t let Chanhee be worried like that again. 

-

After that small argument, things went back to normal for a while. Their 6 months came and went, with a fancy dinner followed by Juyeon spoiling Chanhee with love for the night. 

But as things kept going, Chanhee thought Juyeon felt… distant. They still had dates, they still texted all the time, but something about the time they shared felt closed off on Juyeon’s end. His replies were short, and although the attention Chanhee got from him was nice, it was all physical. Juyeon felt emotionally distant, but the younger of the two wasn’t sure how to approach the topic. 

So naturally he told all of this to Younghoon over coffee one day. 

“Well, it sounds like you need to, you know,  _ communicate with him _ ,” Younghoon emphasized with his hands before taking a sip of his drink. “I know you don’t know how to start it, but if it’s been bothering you this much then just talk to him about it. If you stay calm I know he will too, he’s usually pretty understanding and willing to listen, or at least it seems like it.” 

Chanhee nodded, shoulders slumping because he knew Younghoon was right. He knew he just needed to talk to Juyeon and tell him how he feels, but the swirl of anxiety in his chest at the thought of coming across as too needy and asking for more was enough to keep his mouth shut. 

“I just don’t wanna be too needy, I guess? I already feel like he does too much for me and I don’t want to make him feel obligated to do even more on top of his own stress and his own life.” Chanhee shook his head, trying to push away the feeling bubbling in his chest. “I’m just being dramatic about it anyways.”    
  
“Hee, babe, no you’re not,” Younghoon assured the fragile boy in front of him. “Do you not remember what he said to you that first night at the party? That he wanted to take care of you, and if you ever needed anything to just tell him? This is one of those times.”    
  
The smaller of the two sighed, taking a sip of his drink as he got lost in thought. What if Juyeon said that because he felt like he had to? What if he didn’t really mean it? What if he meant it before he realized how needy and clingy Chanhee was?    
  
“Hey, listen to me,” Younghoon waved his fingers in front of Chanhee’s face to get his attention. “You deserve to be happy, you deserve to feel loved and you deserve to be able to show that love back. It sounds like there’s not much more than surface level physical affection right now, which is a problem. Kisses and cuddles are nice, but a relationship needs that emotional connection to thrive.”    
  
“How are you so damn smart?” Chanhee mumbled, a look of amazement painted on his face as he listened to his best friend. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow when I go to his place, he asked me to spend the night over anyways so it’ll be good to talk.”    
  
The topic of conversation changed, but Chanhee’s head stayed in the clouds, anxiety already coursing through him as he realized he had no clue what he was going to say to Juyeon tomorrow night. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh this chapter is super angsty,,, and also i don’t think juyeon would ever say this stuff !! it’s just his character

“Juyeonie, can we talk?” 

It was a week later than Chanhee originally planned to talk to Juyeon, but at least he was trying. 

Juyeon had a nice date planned out last weekend, taking Chanhee to walk through the park and see a fireworks show, and he didn’t want to ruin the cozy atmosphere that settled when they made their way back to Juyeon’s dorm. 

The worried thoughts of ruining what the pair had going had been plaguing Chanhee’s mind for days now, but Younghoon had convinced him to speak to the older nonetheless. 

“Nothing good ever comes after that, does it?” Juyeon sighed as he sat down next to Chanhee, who placed a hand on his thigh gently. “Please tell me this isn’t a break up conversation.” 

Shaking his head quickly, Chanhee took a deep breath before looking up at Juyeon. 

“No! It’s just… you’ve seemed distant lately. We don’t text as often, you never come to parties with me anymore,” Chanhee finally made eye contact with Juyeon. “It’s like we’re only a couple in person.”

Juyeon’s eyes widened slightly before he nodded, bowing his head down slightly. 

“That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything bad! We can fix this, I know we can, I guess I just feel…” Chanhee paused before continuing. “Pushed to the side, in a way. I know you love me and I know you take care of me when we’re together, but when we’re not it just doesn’t feel good. Does that make any sense?” 

Juyeon nodded, his eyebrows pushed together as he looked at the smaller boy in front of him. He noticed how tense Chanhee looked, his hand shaking slightly when he pushed his hair away from his face. 

“Of course it does,” Juyeon says softly. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way, but I promise I’ll be more aware of it and I’ll try my best to fix it.” 

Chanhee let out the breath he’d been holding, relief flooding his body as he heard the comforting words. 

“But Chanhee?” 

His head flinched up, looking at Juyeon. 

“Please don’t be scared to talk to me about things, love,” Juyeon whispered, his hand resting on the side of Chanhee’s face as his thumb lightly traced his cheek. “We need communication to fix things, and I’m so proud of you for being able to do that.” 

Chanhee’s eyes watered slightly as he blinked back the tears, leaning into Juyeon’s touch. The older pulled him in for a short kiss, fingers brushing through his hair as he did so. 

They spent the rest of their afternoon like that, curled up on the couch together as they watched a movie. It was peaceful, soft, and loving, and exactly what Chanhee needed. 

-

“So are you coming to the party with me tonight?” 

It had been about three months since that conversation, and yet things were slowly but surely going back to the way they were. 

Juyeon had been less distant for a while, texting Chanhee more and making more of an effort to go out with him. But lately, he’d been going backwards again, and Chanhee felt like he was right back at the beginning. 

“I told you, I have to work on my essay that’s due monday,” Juyeon paused before adding: “I’m sorry, baby, I really am.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Chanhee kept his voice as level as possible. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow then, I’ll let you focus.” 

“Hee, please-“ 

“Really, it’s fine, Ju,” Chanhee took a deep breath. “I’ll just go with Hoon again. He needs to get out of the house anyway.” 

“I don’t like you being drunk with Younghoon,” Juyeon said quietly. “It makes me nervous.” 

“Babe, Younghoon has been seeing me drunk since high school,” Chanhee rolls his eyes. His best friend knew how to take care of him when he was drunk, it had almost become a routine by now. “I’ll be fine, I promise. He knows how to take care of me better than anyone.” 

“Alright,” Juyeon sighed, although the skepticism in his voice remained. “Just be careful, I don’t want anything to happen.” 

“I always am,” A small flutter of affection ran through Chanhee at Juyeon’s words, but it was quickly replaced by the reminder that Juyeon was skipping out on  _ another party.  _ “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then.” 

When Juyeon said his goodbye, Chanhee immediately ended the call, setting his phone down and resting his head on his arms. 

This was the fourth time this month that Juyeon had skipped out on going somewhere with Chanhee. It’s not like he minded going with Younghoon, he loved spending time with his best friend, but he also loved getting to go out with his boyfriend and feel like a couple together. 

After a few minutes of letting himself wallow in his feelings, Chanhee picked up his phone to call Younghoon. 

“Hey Hee, what’s up?” 

“He flaked again,” Chanhee deadpanned. “Are you still up to going with me this friday?” 

He could hear the sigh in his best friend’s voice as he replied. 

“Yeah, of course,” Younghoon paused for a moment. “Are you okay with it being me? I know how you feel about… him skipping out on stuff.” 

“It’s whatever,” There was a short pause. “I can’t force him to spend time with me if he really doesn’t want to. Anyways, it’s more fun with you.” 

“Oh I’m more fun than the beloved Juyeon?” Younghoon teased, tone changing as the subject slipped towards more joking. 

“You know what I mean,” Chanhee smiled. “So I’ll see you at the usual time on friday for pregaming?” 

“Of course, I’ll see you then, Hee.” 

Chanhee ended the call with a smile, the weight in his chest temporarily lifted at the thought of getting another weekend with Younghoon all to himself. 

-

“Hoonie!” 

Chanhee was pretty tipsy already, the weight of the week bearing down on him as he got ready for the party. 

Younghoon smiled, lifting up a bottle of alcohol as he walked in and slipped his shoes off by the door. “Chanhee!” 

“You’re here so late,” Chanhee pouted, and his best friend rolled his eyes at him before throwing an arm around his shoulders. 

“I’m not late, you just missed me,” Younghoon teased before reaching down to pour himself a drink. “How much have you had so far? I have to catch up now.” 

“Uhh…” Chanhee blanked. “I’m not really sure, maybe 4 shots and a glass of vodka and redbull?” 

Younghoon scrunched his face up at the mention of redbull, but nodded. “Definitely won’t be doing that last one, but I’ll catch up to you eventually.” 

They spent the next two hours dancing and drinking, enjoying their time together as Chanhee finished getting ready. He decided to wear a skirt again tonight, paired with black thigh highs and a cropped shirt that showed off his waist. He slipped his belt on before realizing it was stuck on the back loop, and his semi-drunk mind couldn’t figure it out. 

“Hoonie, I need your help!” Chanhee whined. “I can’t get my belt through.” 

Younghoon walked up, wrapping his arms around Chanhee’s waist as he fumbled with the belt. The smaller looked up at him, a small blush taking over his face as he realized how close they were. Thank god for all the alcohol, or it would be noticeable. 

He quickly got the belt through the loops, stepping away once he was done and smiling a tiny bit. “There you go.” 

Chanhee mumbled a thanks before finishing putting his belt on, taking one last swig of his drink before he walked towards the door. “Ready?” 

Younghoon nodded, holding the door open for Chanhee as he stepped out and mentally prepared himself. This week had been hard for Chanhee with Juyeon growing more and more distant, but in all honesty going out with his best friend may have been his saving grace. Younghoon always made sure to pay extra attention to Chanhee, knowing he enjoyed it, and always knew just what to say when he needed it. It helped ease some of the tension of the week off Chanhee’s shoulders, his stress melting away as he chatted with his best friend. 

They made it to the frat house the party was being held at, loud music blaring as they walked up the front porch and into the inevitably crowded house. After grabbing their drinks, they made it back out to the living room where people were dancing, and Chanhee spotted Kevin in the crowd dancing with his boyfriend Jacob. 

Chanhee grabbed Younghoon’s hand, dragging him into the swarm of people. They stayed there for a while, dancing to the beat of some shitty pop song with drinks in hand. Basically drunk at this point, Chanhee hadn’t even realized he had been dancing practically on Younghoon until he felt his best friends hands move to grip his hips gently. It was a good thing they were both too far gone to let the reality of their actions sink in, because Chanhee was relishing in the attention Younghoon seemed so eager to give him. 

“Hoonie,” Chanhee whined out, moving closer as he spoke in Younghoon’s ear. “My drink is empty.” 

Younghoon smiled at the adorable frown on Chanhee’s face, nose nudging his cheek softly as he turned to reply. “I think you’ve had enough to drink for tonight, Hee.” 

“You know,” Chanhee started, head leaning back to rest on Younghoon’s shoulder. “I love you, Hoonie. Juyeon would never be caught at a party like this with me.” 

At the mention of his boyfriend, Younghoon rolled his eyes slightly, although Chanhee couldn’t see. 

“Well just for tonight let’s say fuck Juyeon. I don’t know why he can’t seem to make time for you, anyone in their right mind would kill to spend time with you,” Younghoon laid his head on top of Chanhee’s, lips brushing his temple as he spoke. “No offense, Hee, but you need someone who deserves your time.” 

Chanhee sighed, eyes squeezing shut. He knew Younghoon was right, but in his drunken haze he didn’t fully process the words coming from his best friends mouth. 

“It’ll be okay,” Chanhee picked his head back up as the tempo of the song playing picked up. “For tonight I’m forgetting about that mess, I need some stress relief.” 

Younghoon smiled gently, laugh bubbling up as Chanhee started to dance again. They stayed connected like that for most of the night, Younghoon’s hands staying attached to Chanhee’s hips even when they were just in the kitchen talking to friends. 

They were standing in the kitchen talking to Sunwoo and Eric when Chanhee’s good mood shattered. 

Younghoon had laid his head on top of Chanhee’s, pulling him close as he wrapped his arms around the other’s smaller frame. Chanhee relaxed significantly, the warm familiarity of his best friends arms clearing his head way more than he thought it should. 

“Chanhee, what the fuck?” 

Chanhee whipped his head to the side, nearly spilling his drink in his haste, just to see a pissed off Juyeon standing in the doorway. 

“Juyeon, what are you-”

Before Chanhee could finish, Juyeon stormed to the pair, shoving Younghoon by the shoulder. 

“Juyeon, don’t be a dick! It’s just Younghoon!” Chanhee turned to make sure his best friend was okay, who was drunk enough that he seemed mostly unfazed. He assured Chanhee he was fine, but a protective arm was still wrapped around the smaller’s waist. 

“What the fuck are you doing, Chanhee? What is this?” Juyeon yells, and everyone who was previously in the kitchen soon files out. “I told you I don’t like you being drunk around Younghoon, he’s obviously taking advantage of you-“

“I don’t know what you think of me but if you think I would ever hurt Chanhee,” Younghoon’s grip tightened defensively as he took a calming breath before he spoke again. “I’m not you, asshole.” 

“Guys,” Chanhee whispered, voice cracking as he struggled to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. “Please stop. Let me talk.” 

Juyeon’s gaze immediately softened at the sight of how small and utterly upset Chanhee looked in Younghoon’s arms. He walked over to the smaller, trying to put a hand on his face to comfort him, but Chanhee flinched slightly, a worried look on his face. 

“Juyeon, I don’t know what you want from me,” Chanhee’s hand twisted tighter into the fabric of Younghoon’s shirt to ground himself. “You don’t want to make the effort to spend more time with me, so when I spend time with people who do, you get pissed off. If you don’t want me drunk around Younghoon then for fucks sake you have to come with me!”

Tears were now spilling freely, and Younghoon rested his head on top of Chanhee’s once more. The comforting touch encouraged him just a bit more. 

“I know you’re busy, I get it, but I can’t keep going on like this,” Juyeon’s eyes went wide as Chanhee spoke. “You say you’ll change, you say you care, but it always ends up being the same as it was months ago when I was falling apart. At least Younghoon is consistently there for me and makes me feel like he  _ wants  _ to pay attention to me rather than it feeling like an obligation.” 

The words tumbled out of Chanhee against his will, tears running down his face as he sniffled. Everything he’d been letting build up for months now finally came pouring out in a drunken slur of words he knew he’d regret later. 

“Baby, I-”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me, Juyeon,” Chanhee took a swig of his drink to ground himself. “I’ve tried talking to you about this before, so if you’re not going to make the change then I don’t know what else to do.” 

Juyeon’s anger flared again, hands gesturing wildly as he took a step closer to Chanhee. “Obviously I’m just not good enough for you and I don’t try hard enough.” 

“Ju, that’s not what I-”

“But it’s true, isn’t it?” Juyeon laughed slightly, rubbing his hands over his face. Chanhee cowered at the anger the other radiated. “God, maybe you’re just too needy. You always ask for attention, you always ask for affection, and to spend time with me. I’m sorry I can’t be there 24 fucking 7 for you, Chanhee. It’s not my fault you’re so damn clingy.” 

Sobs were now wracking Chanhee’s body as his biggest insecurity manifested itself in his boyfriend’s words. Juyeon knew how insecure Chanhee was about it, he had talked to him about it before, and he was using it against him. It was true though, Chanhee knew it, the guilt and anger and humiliation swirling inside of him as his head pounded. 

And that’s when the final blow happened, the thing that hurt Chanhee the most, even if he had expected it to happen. 

“Maybe we need a break.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> twt - idkwoosan


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some important conversations and some ~plot development~

“Maybe we need a break.”

Everything after that was a blur for Chanhee. His head was spinning, tears streaking his face as he felt Younghoon’s gentle hands in his as he pulled him away. 

“Chanhee, babe, let's go home,” Younghoon spoke softly, pushing past Juyeon roughly and glaring at him as they passed. “Fuck you, Juyeon. Chanhee deserves the entire world, you never deserved him.” 

The journey back to the dorm was a blur. Chanhee still felt floaty, like nothing was real, and there was a dull, empty ache in his chest. Juyeon’s words continued to resonate in his head, drilling into him and fully sinking in. It hurt so bad, knowing that’s truly what Juyeon thought of him. 

“Hee, come on, let’s get in some comfy clothes,” Younghoon’s voice was incredibly soft, his warm hands beginning to gently undo the belt that wrapped around Chanhee’s waist. He slipped his skirt off, dragging his socks down with it as he tossed them into the laundry basket. Chanhee’s shirt soon followed before Younghoon carefully dressed him in one of his hoodies. 

“Come lay down, Hee, you need cuddles and I can tell,” Younghoon pulled Chanhee down to lay his head on his chest, and hearing his best friend's heartbeat soothed him in a way he couldn’t describe. 

“I’m sorry, Hoon,” Chanhee said after a few minutes of silence. “I didn’t mean for that to happen-“ 

“There was no way you could’ve known,” Younghoon ran his fingers through the younger’s hair. “Besides, it’s not like I stopped you when you were being touchy. You know I love it when you get affectionate. It’s cute.” 

Chanhee blushed slightly, taking Younghoon’s hand in his own as he played with his fingers. 

“He knew that was my biggest insecurity,” Younghoon tensed under him slightly but immediately relaxed. “He knew I never wanted to ask for too much, or be too much to take care of. And he still said all of that to me. It hurts so fucking bad, Hoonie.” 

A new wave of pain rolled through Chanhee, tears welling up as he buried his face in the familiar smell of Younghoon. The words wouldn’t leave his head, like they were bouncing around his mind, and his breath hitched in his throat as sobs began to come out once again. Younghoon rubbed his back soothingly, lips pressed gently to the crown of Chanhee’s head. 

“You know he’s wrong, right?” 

Chanhee shook his head, letting out small pitiful noises as he struggled to take in air. “He’s right, Younghoon.” 

“No he’s not,” Younghoon said sternly. “He barely gave you bare minimum. Asking for more isn't a bad thing. Wanting to feel loved by him isn’t something you should be ashamed of. He’s selfish and stupid and you deserve so much better than that.” 

“But h-he made me feel so  _ loved _ in the beginning,” Chanhee sobbed out. 

“That’s because you’re not used to someone loving you like that,” There was a slight pause as Younghoon considered what to say. “You’re not used to being loved in a romantic capacity, so when he did that even just a little bit, you saw it as the best thing you could’ve been offered.” 

Chanhee sniffled, shaking his head into Younghoon’s chest, who just carded his fingers through the smaller’s hair. He didn’t want to believe it, although he knew his best friend was right. 

“I know it’s rough but it’ll be okay baby,” Younghoon reassured, pressing a chaste kiss to Chanhee’s forehead. “And I’ll be here for you the whole time.” 

Lulling into a dreamless sleep, Chanhee’s broken sobs finally subdued as Younghoon held him. 

—

Three weeks later, Chanhee found himself at another party. 

It has become a habit of his, to spend the weekends at a random strangers house with Younghoon pressed close to him with too much alcohol running through both of their systems. It’s helped ease the pain Juyeon had left him with, although not for long. 

They had stumbled back to Chanhee’s dorm, both drunk, cheeks red and words slurred as they made their way inside. This had always been normal, the two of them going home together after drinking too much. 

“Hee,” Younghoon started, holding his hand tightly as they plopped down on the couch. “Can I kiss you?” 

Chanhee froze, glancing over at his best friend’s flushed face, eyes flicking down towards his lips before he nodded softly, hair falling in front of his face. All of his common sense left his brain as Younghoon’s hand came up, tucking his hair behind his ear before running his thumb gently along Chanhee’s cheek. He looked up gently, eyes wide and watery as his best friend stepped impossibly closer. 

That when Younghoon leaned in, so gentle that Chanhee almost didn’t notice in his drunken haze. Their lips pressed together just slightly, and Chanhee’s mind went fuzzy as Younghoon’s hands engulfed his waist and tugged him closer. 

Lips pressing more firmly, Chanhee’s brain finally caught up as he twisted his fingers into the hair on the nape of Younghoon’s neck. It felt so right, even if their foggy minds weren’t thinking about any consequences after tonight. It made a feeling of euphoria bubble up in Chanhee’s chest, a feeling of being wanted, a feeling of being truly loved. 

“Hoonie-“ Chanhee broke away to catch his breath before Younghoon kissed him again, guiding him backwards until he was pressed against the wall. The hands on his waist tightened, drawing a whimper out of the younger, who immediately froze in embarrassment. 

Younghoon trailed down Chanhee’s jaw, using his finger to gently tilt the younger’s head back to lean against the wall. The older nipped at his neck lightly, all tongue and teeth and it was driving Chanhee insane. The feeling of his best friend’s lips brushing his skin was something he would never be able to get enough of, and he desperately wanted more. 

Younghoon groaned into Chanhee’s neck, fingers digging into bony hips as he pulled the younger’s hips forward into his own. They both let out a moan, Chanhee distinctly louder than Younghoon as he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. He didn’t want to embarrass himself just yet, didn’t want Younghoon to see just how needy he was in bed. 

But it’s like Younghoon knew all the right buttons to press. He knew just how to hold Chanhee to make him feel so,  _ so _ small underneath him, making him more pliant than he ever thought he could have been. He had always been submissive to Juyeon, but this felt entirely different. It felt like Younghoon was going to push him as far as he could, see how far Chanhee could sink down into his submissive headspace before the older could break him apart and put him back together again. 

Chanhee’s hands twisted into the hair on Younghoon’s neck, tugging slightly when the latter nipped gently at his bottom lip. He gasped into the mouth pressed against his, a small whimper escaping him. His arms caged Chanhee in, making him feel as small as possible as he continued to make him melt against him. 

“Hoon-'' Chanhee started before Younghoon kissed further down his jaw, mouthing softly at his neck before moving down to his collar bones. The neck of the sweater he was wearing was wide open, giving Younghoon plenty of room to kiss and bite the skin until Chanhee’s knees trembled. “ _ Fuck,  _ Hoonie, please.” 

Younghoon hummed against his skin before stepping back slightly, his warmth leaving Chanhee to shiver slightly as he cracked his eyes back open. 

“I’m not doing this while you’re this far gone, Hee,” Younghoon said gently, thumb tracing Chanhee’s cheek bone. “Once we’ve slept it off, then if you still want this you can have it. I don’t want to take advantage of you still getting over Juyeon.” 

“B-but-“ Chanhee felt his lower lip quiver slightly at the sudden change of events, but took a deep breath to keep it together. He didn’t want to cry in front of Younghoon. “I’m not  _ that _ drunk-“ 

“Still,” Younghoon placed a gentle kiss on Chanhee’s forehead. “I want you to be completely sober when you make these kinds of decisions. Now let’s get changed and get to bed, okay?” 

Slightly confused and hurt, Chanhee nodded nonetheless and let Younghoon lead him into his room. They changed in silence, slipping into the bed together as Chanhee laid his head on the older’s chest. Out of habit, Younghoon’s hands ran through the younger’s hair as he fell asleep. 

“Hoonie?” Chanhee mumbled, hand fisting in Younghoon’s shirt tightly. 

“What is it, baby?” Younghoon paused his movements until Chanhee whined slightly, so he kept going. 

“Please don’t go,” Chanhee said, voice barely above a whisper. “I hope I didn’t mess things up ‘cause I’m too clingy.” 

“Oh, baby,” Younghoon sighed. “That’s not why I stopped you, and you know that. Don’t tell yourself that, ever. I absolutely  _ love _ how much attention and love you need. It’s one of my favorite things about you.” 

Chanhee let out a small hiccup before Younghoon felt the wet tear stains on the front of his shirt, and all he could do was hold the younger’s shaking figure as he cried. 

—

The next few weeks were… rough for Chanhee, to put it gently. Everything felt just slightly off, like nothing was right, and he struggled to find motivation for a lot of things. 

He had started partying less after the night that he and Younghoon had kissed. They hadn’t talked about it after, but it’s not like anything changed between them. It never would; they would always be the two of them. 

The nail in Chanhee’s coffin, though, came in the form of a knock on his door from none other than Lee fucking Juyeon. 

“Hi, Chanhee,” Juyeon started sheepishly before Chanhee folded his arms, leaning against the door. 

“What do you want?” 

“I just wanted to see if you could talk. I have… a lot to say,” Juyeon’s eyes fell downwards to the floor, hands fidgeting in front of him as he waited for the rejection to come. 

“Fine. You get 10 minutes,” Chanhee stepped aside to let Juyeon in. “Unless I get tired of it and kick you out sooner.” 

They made their way to the couch, and sat in silence for a moment before Juyeon spoke up. 

“I came to apologize. I’m not asking you to forgive me and take me back, but I owe you an apology. I got frustrated with myself and said things I shouldn’t have,” Juyeon paused, taking a deep breath before finally looking up at Chanhee. “I never meant what I said, and I shouldn’t have said it. I’m sorry.” 

Chanhee paused for a moment to contemplate Juyeon’s words. The empty feeling in his chest kept telling him to forgive Juyeon, give him one more chance, just to satisfy the part of him that missed him. The other part of him told him not to, because Juyeon had never truly shown Chanhee that he would ever change his ways. He had no reliable reason to believe Juyeon, other than the gut feeling that wanted him to give him one last chance. 

“What you said really fucking hurt, you asshole,” Chanhee rolled his eyes. “I don’t care how upset you are, you knew that was one of my biggest insecurities and you used it against me, which was a dick move.” 

Juyeon nodded, eyes looking down at his lap, almost like a puppy getting scolded. 

“I’m… honestly confused,” Chanhee continued, voice softening a bit. “I miss you like crazy, and nothing feels right without you, but at the same time I’m terrified. I’m so terrified to ask for anything more than bare minimum now, and I’m so scared of asking for too much and being too clingy and needy.” 

“I know,” Juyeon said shakily. “I can help show you you’re not. I promise I will, I just have to be able to show you.” 

Chanhee let the silence settle, taking a deep breath as he thought. He could give Juyeon another chance, and see where things go. Nothing could feel as worse as he did when he heard Juyeon say those things the first time, so surely nothing too bad could come out of giving him another chance. Besides, he did love Juyeon, even if he fucked up. 

“Fine. You get one more chance, but I better actually see change this time, or I’m out.” 

Chanhee hoped he wouldn’t regret this the next day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im kinda losing motivation just cause i’m unsure about where to take this fully so i’m sorry if it sucks! i’m trying my best <3


End file.
